So where should I Start? Hmm december sounds good.
So shortly after my mom's visit last December we found out we were expecting our 5th child. I went to a doctor on December 18th and got confirmation we were indeed about 6 weeks pregnant. I didn't announce my pregnancy or my child's birth on facebook for reasons. I scheduled a regular doctor appointment and they gave me my due date which was August 8th 2020. I had horrible morning sickness all first trimester, second trimester was a breeze, third trimester was up and down lol. August 4th was my last appointment and I was 39 weeks and 3 days. They told me if I didn't have baby by next week they would induce me. Well sure enough, I didn't wanna be induced again so I prayed and prayed that baby would come on it's own. Sure enough prayers were answered as I went into labor on my own around 4 am on the 7th.
I went to the hospital got epidural around 11 am when I was at 6cm. I later gave birth to a beautiful 8lbs 3oz baby girl! She was/is perfect. She looked just like Rayna when she was born.
Surgery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and by day 3 after surgery I was back doing everything I usually do. It's a bittersweet moment with my last baby!
Special thanks to my beautiful sisters who helped while my husband had to go to work, my amazing momma, my best friends who supported me and my choice throughout my pregnancy and throughout raising 5 children and thank you to my husband Matthew Hudson
who even though he had to work, checked on me and baby girl and thank you for always finding a way even if we struggle at times. I love my village that I have for me and my children.
Saturday, May 1, 2021
Wednesday, April 21, 2021
Isabelle's Birth Story
Towards the end of 2015 we found out we were pregnant for the fourth time. I had gone to a doctor and they told me my due date was September 2nd 2016. This first trimester was viscious as I was constantly throwing up from morning sickness etc. Not to mention all the bullshit and drama that happened while I was pregnant. We had made the decision to not tell my side of the family since my family is always so judgemental since they don't like my husband or our life at the time etc.
Now onto the second trimester, I was still suffering from morning sickness and this pregnancy really took it's toll on me. Baby was healthy etc. I went to a doctor appointment to have blood drawn and they asked if I wanted to do the blood test to see what I was having. I of course said yes. They told me everything looked great and they will call me in a few days to let us know what we are having. A few days later we got the phone call of our fourth baby. It was another girl. We really wanted a boiy but we didn't care as long as the baby was healthy. Matthew had her full name picked out literally the next day.
Third trimester, Once a week doctor appointments etcs. Everything was still going well, sickness had subsided etc. We were anxiously awaiting our baby girls entrance. My last doctors appointment was Septemeber 2nd 2016, they told me that since she hasn't come yet they will induce me the 9th. I was scared as I had never been induced before. So on the morning of the 9th, we got to the hospital at 6am. They started the pitocin about 7am etc. Around 5 or so, They said we were ready to push etc. Matthew and I were watching White Chicks at the time and they continued to let me push when I felt the need to. I pushed a good three times and got her head out and then they pulled her out.
They weighed her and she was 8lbs 15oz. We named her Isabelle Alexandria. She's named after her dad. Funny story is I loved the name Isabelle for Brooklyn but Matthew didn't like it at the time. I thought it was funny when he picked the name Isabelle. Isabelle was definitely meant to be Isabelle just like Brooklyn was meant to be Brooklyn.
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Brooklyn's Birth Story
Now it's time for Miss Brooklyn's birth story. I should of written these while they were fresh in my mind and where time hasn't passed like it has. Oh well, I'm writing them now and that's what matters.
We were living in the trailer park by the airport and Thomas had just turned two months old. I was on the depo shot and had 2 more weeks to go before I had to get another one. My period was late that month, which I thought it was just the stress of having a two year old and a newborn. After not getting my period for a week, I suspected that I might be pregnant. So I went and bought a test. I had tested the next morning and it was positive. Matthew had come home from work later that day, and I told him.
We were both in shock because my doctor had told us the shot was the best birth control at that time. God had other plans for us apparently. We were in shock but at the same time happy. I used the same doctor I had that delivered Thomas' which was a horrible idea but still couldn't find a diffferent one.
My first appointment went really well and I had found out my doctor was pregnant as well and she was due around Decemeber. She had sent me for a sonogram later that day. I found out I was about 12 weeks along and we couldn't tell what the baby was at that time. All we knew so far was that the baby was healthy and pregnancy was going well so far. The sonogram lady had told us we would be due around decemeber the 9th. She scheduled another sonogram for when I would be 20 weeks along to see what we were having.
We went to the sonogram that was scheduled at 20 weeks and found out we were having another baby girl. I was excited and didn't care what we were having as long as the baby was healthy. Matthew really wanted another boy, but he was happy she was going to be healthy. The pregnancy and appointments kept going once a month until I hit 36 weeks. Once I hit 36 weeks I went once a week.
We had cooked dinner for Thanksgiving at his parents house and his Aunt Stephanie and grandma were there. We were all talking and she asked me "How are you feeling?" I told her "I'm good just tired". She had asked me if Rayna and Thomas were full term or early. I had told her they were both on time right on their due date. She said " Well, You're due to have one early". Now that was a jynx in itself.
Around 3am on November 30th, 2011 the contractions started so I texted Matthew that I was in labor. He had left to a rig that night, He called me and asked me if I was sure. I said "Yes I am but they are not that close yet. So I tried to go back to sleep. The contractions worsened and I had completely woken up around 5am and told him to call his parents because I'm in labor and I need to get to the hospital soon. He called his parents, and while he did that I packed up what Thomas and Rayna would need to stay with them until their sister was born. I had everything ready for the hospital, when his father showed up. He hurried and loaded everything in the car and kids, then we headed to their house so his mom could take me to the hospital. Once we got to the house, his mother and I got into the van and she drove me to the hospital. Once we got to the UMC in Lubbock, I checked in and they took me to the delivery room. When they checked me I was at 7 centimeters. The nurse came in about 6 am and asked me if I needed anything, I said "I want the epidural if I can still get it". She said "Of course, I'll go get them. "When the epidural man came in they had some issues giving it to me as I only felt it on my left side not both sides. It took them forever to give it to me. Once they got it, I felt better and was able to relax. I was texting Matthew and family members to let them know she was on her way. Matthew had called his work office and told them that he needed to leave because I was having the baby. They had no one to relieve him so he had to wait until noon because Charles had taken off to oklahoma for a girl he barely knew. His mother and the nurse kept guessing what time I would have her, his mom said 1:15pm and the nurse said 1:45 pm . They came and checked me about 12:45 pm and said I was at a 10 and ready to push because she's coming.
I was prepped for delivery and about 1:00 pm they told me to push. I started pushing and finally after 3 or 4 pushes she was here. She cried right away. I had another beautiful baby girl. She was 7 lbs 9 oz and was born Novemeber 30th, 2011. She was beautiful and perfect. 10 minutes later Matthew had walked in. He came right up and looked at her and kissed her head. Brooklyn completed our beautiful family. She shares her wonderful birthday with her Aunt Stephanie!!
Isabelle's birth story coming soon!! Keep an eye out!!
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Thomas' Birth Story
I'm trying to write alot more but obviously it takes me some time to get back into writing. So I decided to sit down and write my son's birth story. Well, at least what I can remember of it!
Back in 2011, we were living in Wolfforth, Texas. Matthew had just started working in the oilfield making some good money. I had no idea I was even pregnant until I couldn't hardly eat my food and drinking Dr. pepper made me sick. When matthew had called and talked to me one night. I had told him I couldn't eat hardly any food and Dr. Pepper made me sick. He asked if I was pregnant and I said I don't think so. Well, when he came home a couple weeks later we bought a test and it was positive. I took like 4 more to be sure.
We were happy to be expecting another baby. It was good timing especially since Rayna would be 2 in Decemeber. We went to Dr. Nayak in Andrews, Texas for my first appointment with this baby. He predicted it would be a boy and set up a sonogram for me the same day. I went to the sonogram and found out that my due date was Decemeber 13th, 2011. Matthew and I both looked at each other and laughed. The sonogram lady asked "Why are y'all laughing?" We replied "That's Rayna's birthday". She was all "Ah, she has a new baby sibling for her birthday".
We had realized that since we are closer to lubbock that I needed to find a doctor here. I went to Texas Tech Health Science Center ob/gyn here in lubbock. I will never ever go there again. They were rough, they hurt me but I didn't know who else to go to being new to the area. We had another sonogram around thanksgiving and found out we were having a little boy. Matthew was so excited. I wanted to have our little boy named after Matthew, but Matthew didn't want to name him after him. So one day we were going to eat, and Matthew had said he had a name picked out. I was like okay, what is it? He said I think Thomas is a cute name. I agreed. We decided to name our son Thomas. I didn't care what his name was as long as his dad's and my grandpa's names were in the middle name. My son has two middle names because of the two great men who raised his dad and I.
Pregnancy and blood sugar were always good, never had any issues with this pregnancy. I went into labor December 11,2012 around 10pm. We had gone to the UMC, which we were told was the best hospital to deliver at for babies. I got there and they had me flat on my back with 15-20 people in and out with me wide open. It was horrible. Matthew kept coming over and covering me up. I had the epidural and when I was about to fall asleep they had told me it was time to push. So I pushed and at 4:45 am on December 12, 2011, I had given birth to a beautiful baby boy named Thomas. He was 8lbs 3 oz. He was perfect, born the day before Rayna's 2nd birthday. It was perfect. Our family was complete at that time.
There's Thomas' birth story now I have two more to write Brooklyn's and Isabelle's. They are coming soon.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Rayna's Birth Story
I decided I wanted to write about my birth stories for all four of my beautiful children. My firstborn and oldest daughter is Rayna, so you will be reading hers.
It was January of 2009, when I started dating Matthew. I fell in love with him and just knew from the beginning he was the one for me. One day in March, he had noticed my appetite had grown and some other things and he was all "Babe, you're pregnant". I was like "no I'm not, wait how would you know?". We ended up getting a pregnancy test and it showed positive so I took like 3 more to be sure. Turns out I was indeed pregnant.
We had moved to Andrews, Texas in August of 2009 and we lived with his sister Rachel and her family for a while, until Matthew got some checks coming in to get our own place and baby stuff. I had my first appointment shortly after we moved there and a sonogram. We had found out that I was due December 13th, 2009 and we were expecting a baby girl. I was healthy and so was the baby. We were so happy and excited but I was afraid at the same time.As it got closer to my due date I had a appointment on Decemeber 10th, 2009 in which my doctor confirmed that I was 2cm dialated and 80% effaced. He said that he believes she will be here this weekend, which I later found out he was correct.
Saturday I started having contractions off and on. We waited until they got 8 minutes apart then went to his sister Rachel's house where his mom had been down visiting and she made me walk and drink water to make sure the contractions weren't Braxton Hicks. They were definitely real contractions. She kept them timed for me in between using the restroom, drinking water and walking around. Once the contrations got to 5 minutes apart his mom, rachel, and us went to the hospital. We got to the hospital at 3 or 4 am. When they checked me they said I was at 4cm which the contractions weren't hurting much then but I went ahead and got the epidural.
The nurse kept coming and checking on me, checking the consistency of the contractions, which I had fallen asleep because I couldn't feel anything after the epidural. Around 11:45am They told me I was fully dialated and ready to push. We did the crowning and then next thing I knew Matthew and his mom were by my side as the nurses were telling me to push. I pushed and at 12:08pm on sunday Decemeber 13th, 2009 I had given birth to a beautiful and perfect baby girl. We named her Rayna, she was 7lbs 6 1/4oz. We were so happy and the labor and delivery went very smoothly. I had never been so in love with someone as much as I was her. I couldn't believe that my body made this amazing little person that is half Matthew and half me. I was in love, she was perfect and we had started our little family.
I was released the next day after doing so much paperwork. The hospital made matthew and I a steak dinner before we left the hospital. It was an amazing steak dinner with the best oreo cake dessert ever!. We got home and it was just a amazing delivery. I was very blessed it went so smoothly. I had an amazing doctor and nurses. They took very good care of me and my daughter. I couldn't believe it I was a mother to this little piece of perfection.
Rayna has grown into such a sweet, smart, sassy, amazing, and beautiful little 7 year old girl. She is my mini me with my attitude and sass. I love her more than words can express. We bump heads a lot because like I said before she's my mini me, but I love her endlessly and when I look at her I couldn't be more proud of who she is as a person. I'm so blessed to have my little Roo bear who is my first child that I have made the most mistakes with. She has turned out to be such a light in my life and in every person's life that she meets. She's such a blessing and a challenge. She keeps me on my toes, but there's nothing I would change.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Healing Relationships
It's a new year and I decided that I wanted to start writing again. I just enjoy writing and being able to vent or give my opinions without dealing with so much controversy. I will say this is my blog where I post what I want, when I want without caring what people think. If you don't like what you read please feel free to not read my blog at all.
One night I was up late thinking about how broken some of my family relationships are/were. So I took a huge step and apologized for something as simple as calling Matthew my husband when we arn't legally married yet. However, we are engaged. I did apologize and it took a lot for me to do so. Especially to someone who has said some very hurtful things to me. On a better note, We are working on our relationship and I hope that one day we can get back to where we use to be before things went bad.
This specific family member was my best friend. However, we have come to a decent place where our daughters can get to know each other through emailing each other. I love that they are able to do this especially since they are cousins and should be able to communicate no matter what the issue is between their parents. I can tell you one thing, it puts a smile on my Rayna's face when I tell her that she has a email from her cousin. Rayna loves being able to talk to her and I hope it can stay that way. I hope eventually they will be able to meet, talk on the phone, etc. However, we are taking it slow and step by step. It's definitely a start. Seeing my daughter so happy about this little step makes my heart flutter with happiness.
Just because the parents have issues doesn't mean it should affect the kids being able to talk to each other and communicate to get to know their cousins. Trusting the other adult might not be easy for either one of them but it's a start to move forward. I have also contacted one of my sister's in law to ask some questions and turns out we heard so many things from other people, instead of coming to each other about it first. The best thing to do is ask that person instead of assuming what you heard is true. I love all my family and would love to have a good relationship with all of them. I'm working on my relationship with my sister and it's not gonna be a easy road but it will be worth it in the long run. I don't have a relationship with my dad hardly at all anymore. I don't get calls or texts unless I text or call them first, I'm blocked by him on social media and that's okay.
I'm finally taking the steps needed to heal the relationships that have been broken for years and it's time to show who I truly am, instead of people seeing who they want to see. I still have my facebook which you can add me if you'd like.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Birthdays and Christmas!
After sunday I will officially have a 6,4, and 3 year old children. Brooklyn's birthday was on November, 30th and she loved that Grandma gave her a Toys R Us gift card for toys and a birthday card with stickers. She was so happy and enjoyed shopping. We took her to eat at Golden Corral which was actually pretty freaking delicious. She had a great 3rd birthday.
Today is Thomas's 4th birthday and he got his gift card as well. However, since it rained and stuff today I went and got him some cake from the store and we are making one of his favorite meals for dinner, then he will get cake. He will get to go do birthday shopping tomorrow as we will be going to Lubbock then.
My Roo bear is gonna be 6 years old tomorrow. Seriously, my baby is gonna be 6!!!! It's so hard to believe that it has gone by so fast.She is almost done with kindergarten and she's doing so well. She's extremely smart and gets along well with others. Her teacher absolutely adores her and she adores her teacher. She is ready for tomorrow as Grandma Milani also sent her a giftcard for her birthday and she's excited to get some toys.
An update on the getting married aspect since I had mentioned it earlier in the year. Matthew bought himself a ring, we are just waiting to set a date to get everything legal. Also, I am on facebook with my picture. However, I use it for my games on my tablet and that's basically what it is for. I do have my hubby and some coworkers on there as friends but that's it. I don't really care for facebook so yeah.
Life has been extremely crazy, bad, good, stressful, and rewarding all at the same time. I'm getting myself the help that I need and so I can better myself for my family. I would rather not talk about it with anyone because I'm ashamed. Just keep me in your prayers please.
I'm so looking forward to Christmas this year. We have a secret santa at work and I have no clue who mine is but she's doing a great job as far as things that I like. My boss is amazing and one of the hardest working women I have ever met. She's an amazing lady! I enjoy all of my coworkers and love my job.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Life Update
So I thought I would write about my life update. There has been a lot of change in our lives in the past couple of weeks.
I would like to start by saying I love being a stay at home mother to my children but it has been time for a change. I have graduated UMA with a diploma in medical billing and coding, and I'm currently finishing my associate's degree for medical billing and coding. I currently started a new job as a insurance verification specialist which I love doing. I enjoy the girls that I work with. I work M-F and have weekends off plus amazing benefits. I'm very happy I have a job that I love to do.
My career service advisor is the one who set up the interview and it went very well. It took about three days later, and the lady from HR called me and set up my 2nd interview. I knew there would be a background check which made me a little nervous because of a stupid choice I made when I was younger that still shows on my background. I decided to be up front and honest with her and I told her what might show up. I also told her that I wasn't gonna let my background get in the way of me getting my dream career.
Once the interview was over, I felt pretty good about being honest and just letting her know that my past is my past and I'm not gonna let it define the person I am today. I am a changed person, a mother and wife. I'm not gonna let a mistake on my background hold me back. The HR lady had called me the next day saying they were gonna bring me into training. I wanted to cry I was so excited.
This job is a true blessing to not only myself but for my family as well. We are going through some hard stuff right now, but I know we will make it and be okay. It's not the first time we have been in this boat. I think that's about all I wanted to touch base on for this writing. I will write again soon I hope.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Struggles
Everyone struggles at some point in there life, whether it be school, kids, jobs, money, etc. Life always has twists and turns but we have to realize some struggles come with the choices we have made in life. I haven't always made the right choices or the best choices in my life, and trust me I'm paying for it. My sister doesn't trust me because of things I have done but I am a changed person.
It's so hard for my family right now as the oil field has gone down a lot. Matthew is off so much more, no rigs means no money coming in. I'm currently looking for two jobs and he is looking for a job as well so he can work while we wait for the oil field to come back up. It's so stressful with both of us in school and needing to work. I just worry about the bills, but the best part is that we don't fight over the money situation, we talk everything out. Fighting isn't gonna make the stress go away or the money magically appear so everything is okay. We struggle just like everyone else does.
We have a great relationship even through all our struggles, but I'm not saying we don't fight or bicker because we do. We are no different than any other couple. We have our moments but we always talk it out. We are getting legally married in the next few months and I'm so ready for that. I'm glad we have waited longer because that way we know for sure this is gonna work. I know not everyone agreed with Matthew and I's decision to wait 6 years but it's our choice not theirs.
Please keep matthew's mother in your prayers, there's a lot going on with her right now and she needs prayers.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Valentine's Day!!
Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!! I hope that everyone had a great valentine's day, I know I did! I actually for once got to buy my husband something for valentine's day. I had no idea what to get him and so I went onto pinterest and I found the best idea and something I knew he would love.
Pinterest is amazing, here's the link to what I did for my husband I did jack daniels honey for all of them and then bought the flavor reds starburst and then bought him a card. He loved it, what man doesn't love some good old whiskey and the best starburst ever!! I would of posted the pictures I took but I freaking deleted them before I emailed them to myself to save to my laptop, stupid me!
My husband bought me a gift basket that included chocolates, wine glasses, a bottle of wine, and a teddy bear, plus two more boxes of chocolate, a pink frog, a purple frog, another bigger teddy bear, and a chocolate symphony bar. :) I'm very spoiled by my husband. He bought the kids a stuffed animal and I shared my candy with them. We ate at casa ole to end our valentine's day and now my husband and I are drinking some wine before bed. Overall, today was a pretty good valentine's day!
I have some good news which I'm extremely excited about!!!! Y'all will just have to stay posted and see what it is!!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Christmas Is Here!
Christmas is here!!! I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. My kids are super excited about Christmas, because they got their presents in from my dad and camellia today.
Our plans for Christmas begin Christmas Day, I will be getting up Christmas morning and putting all their presents under the tree from us, my dad and Santa Claus for the kids. I will fill their stockings, then we will all get up and get ready for the day, then we will wait for Matthew to come home so we can go to his mom's house to celebrate.
I'm super excited to be spending time with family, granted mine won't be down here, it's still great to have family to spend the holidays with. I'm very happy for my sister and her husband Nick who are expecting their 3rd child, Congrats to y'all and I hope y'all have a very Merry Christmas.
I enjoy the holidays very much so, but I really missed how we would all be at grandma and grandpa's house with the cooking, presents, and family time. Those memories are so precious and are some of the best memories of my life. My grandparents were the most amazing grandparents you could ever asked for. I wish they were still here! I wish they could know Thomas and Brooke's personalities. But I know that one day my kids will meet them. Anyways, I need to finish cleaning house. I hope everyone has a safe and Merry Christmas!!!
Monday, November 24, 2014
Thanksgiving Excitement
I can't believe that it's gonna be Thanksgiving in three days. This year has gone by soooo fast. I can't even believe how much my kids have grown and become such great kids. We have three birthdays coming up as well.
Matthew will be home thursday which means we will be cooking at his mom's house for the 3rd year in a row. We already have everything we need for Thanksgiving. I start buying for Thanksgiving in October since we have so many people we are feeding. I love how the holidays bring family together.
Some of my best memories with my family are the holidays, grandma and grandpa cooking dinner for everyone all day long, the smell of the house, and just having family there. There were alot of great memories during the holidays. I miss our family getting together and being close like we used to be. Now we are all married, getting married, and have our own cooking to do. I just wish we could all get together one more time. I miss grandma and grandpa's cooking, it was always a very delicious meal.
After thanksgiving we will be getting to celebrate Brooklyn's 2nd birthday on the 30th. I'm so excited about her cake it's gonna be awesome. Rayna's theme is lavender and zebra and yes tinkerbell, Brooklyn's theme is hot pink and cheetah, and Thomas's theme is Ninja Turtles. I already have her cake ordered and I'm very excited about it. It's gonna be beautiful.
I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving!! Enjoy family because they are always there for you no matter what!!
Monday, November 10, 2014
Halloween
I have to say Halloween was awesome. My kids got to go trick-or-treating for the first time ever. My kids were dressed up as a fairy, captain america, and a zebra cutie. They looked adorable and they did soo good. I was a very proud mama. They said please and thank you and I got so many compliments about their manners. I love when people give compliments on my kids, it makes me feel like all my hard work is paying off. My kids are my whole world and to see them sooo happy and having fun made my night even better.
It brought back so many memories for me. Bethany drove my car while I walked with my kids. It reminded me of when my sister and I would go trick-or-treating when we were younger. We would go to fritch the night before Halloween for trick-or-treating and grandpa would drive the car while we would trick-or-treat with our dad walking with us or another family member. I came home that night soo happy and I cried because I miss my grandpa and wish he could see how much my kids have grown and wish he could enjoy them.
They came home with bags full of candy. We went to the ranching center, then came home and walked down our street, then half of another block and they had their bags completely full of candy. I was like omg this reminds me of when I was a kid. People in our neighborhood are very nice and keep to themselves. I love that everyone keeps to themselves, and they don't give us hell about our dog or the fact that I blast my music while cleaning. It's so nice to actually have a house.
Once I figure out how to add pictures on here I can post some from Halloween.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Abortion
Well first of all, I am writing this abortion post to get my views out there. I do agree with my sisters first three reasons but not her last. She gave the me the strength to be brave and write this post. I have a different perspective about abortion. I am pro choice and here's why:
My reasons abortion is a option are
1. The pregnancy is a product of rape/incest.
2. There is no chance of survival for the baby.
3. The pregnancy puts the mothers life in danger that can result in the mothers death.
Now my sisters fourth reason is if the mother has a mental illness that makes her an unfit mother, which I strongly disagree with. There is always adoption for those babies.
I was talking to my sister in law and I asked her if she was pro-life or pro-choice. She replied " Prolife, I'm 100% against abortions." I told her "that's good."
She then said "I feel if the parents are old enough to have sex, there old enough to be parents. It's not the babies fault, especially when there are women who can't have kids and would love to be a mommy." I do agree with her statement because I feel that way too. Unless one of my three reasons above is the case for that pregnancy.
If you agreed with any of those three reasons above, your pro-choice as well.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Suffering From PPD
Suffering from postpartum depression really sucks, it doesn't just affect you. It also affects your family. What's worse, is you can't control it. I have been having an extremely hard time with this since my last baby. I'm still not really sure how to deal with it. If anyone has any advice feel free to email me. It has definately had a negative effect on my relationship with my husband.
My poor husband has to deal with me not being me at times, he deals with all the anger, depression, sadness, the guilt I feel. He deals with everything.
My husband Matthew does everything he can to help me out as much as possible when he's home. He's a amazing husband and is always there for me no matter what. I love him so much, he's definately my rock in my times of weakness.
Although I'm sure at times, he has no clue what to do or how to make things better. He always finds a way. I'm so lucky to have the husband I do. Matthew is the best husband I could have ever asked for. He deals with all the crap I put him through and he still loves me.
I love how he makes me feel better. I'm also thankful for my mother in law. She also understands what I'm going through because she's been there. I'm not on medication by choice, however I might need them. I hate to admit I'm not myself, I just want to hide it and pretend it doesn't exist. But the more I pretend its not there, it always shows up.
Its good to have an amazingly supportive husband and very dedicated father to be there for you and your children. Hands down I have the best man in world whether you think so or not. I fall in love with him more and more each day.
PPD is a constant battle, that I will overcome, but until I do. I'm thankful for the people I have who are always there for me no matter what.
Feel free to contact me for advice, about any questions you have or anything. Ill touch up on the PPD later on and let y'all know how I'm doing with it.
Starting Over Again
Ok so yes I deleted everything from my blog. It was for a good reason. I got tired of people trying to look in on me when they don't like me.
I'm a 25 year old woman who is married and has kids. I don't deal with any drama or bullshit. I have grown up and matured a lot. I have also learned a lot about life in general. Don't start shit when you don't even know me.
I'm a mother and wife who is very happy with her life right now, we finally have a three bedroom two bath house with a awesome 2 car garage and a fenced backyard. It's a beautiful home and will do for now until we find something better. I'm couldn't be more happy right now in my life.
I just don't understand how people can sit there and be like "I hate her, she's the biggest bitch you will ever met". I am if you mess with my family, kids, or husband. That is the only time I am a bitch.
But anyways my blog is officially back up for all you readers to read. And if you don't like what I write or what I have to say. Then please don't read it. I write my views, my opinions, my experiences, my thoughts, and overall about my life. If you don't like what you read then don't read it.
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